The fair place to meet is Oklahoma City, OK — the city closest to the midpoint of Phoenix and Raleigh. From the farther side that’s about 22 hr 12 min of driving.
Recommended midpoint
Oklahoma City, OK
From Phoenix
17 hr 37 min
840 mi to Oklahoma City
From Raleigh
22 hr 12 min
1,059 mi to Oklahoma City
Phoenix has the shorter trip; the split is off by about 4 hr 35 min. The alternatives below can even it out. Phoenix and Raleigh are about 1,899 miles apart.
Phoenix and Raleigh are about 1,899 miles apart by road. Split the difference and you arrive near Oklahoma City, the city closest to the halfway point between them. That puts roughly 17 hr 37 min of driving on the Phoenix side and 22 hr 12 min on the Raleigh side — the fairest single meeting point among the cities near the middle.
Over this distance most people will fly rather than drive the whole way. Oklahoma City still makes a fair, central place for Phoenix and Raleigh to converge, splitting the travel instead of asking one side to cross the country.
If Oklahoma City doesn't have what you're after, Dallas and Memphis are also close to the midpoint and worth a look — each keeps the drive reasonably balanced between Phoenix and Raleigh.
Oklahoma City, often shortened to OKC, is the capital and most populous city in the U.S. state of Oklahoma. It is the 21st-most populous U.S. city and 8th largest in the Southern United States, with a population of 681,054 at the 2020 census. Read more →
Phoenix is the capital and most populous city of the U.S. state of Arizona. With over 1.6 million residents at the 2020 census, Phoenix is the fifth-most populous city in the United States and the most populous state capital. Read more →
Raleigh is the capital city of the U.S. state of North Carolina. It is the second-most populous city in the state, tenth most populous city in the Southeast, the largest city in the Research Triangle area, and the 39th-most populous city in the U.S. Read more →
City descriptions adapted from Wikipedia (CC BY-SA); photos via Wikimedia Commons, credited above.
Estimates use straight-line distance and typical road speeds; real drive times vary with route and traffic.